50 Ways To Exterminate Lana Lang
by Emberseve
Summary: Basically it's just 50 ways to kill Lana Lang...even though some of these ways have been attempted before...
1. The RIP

**50 Ways To Exterminate Lana Lang**

**I'm sorry to those who like Lana…but then again you most likely wouldn't be reading this story… Although for those who don't like her or who are just reading the story…Enjoy!**

**- Emberseve**

* * *

**Chapter 1: The R.I.P.**

**THE 'AMATEUR' DAILY PLANET**

_Today was the day when the long-lived Lana Lang, took her last breath. She had a looooooooooong sad life…that damn every second the world gave her to achieve her goals only to be assassinated, tortured, or kidnapped the next… You never knew why she was always the one "To go after". It seemed as though everyone was after her at times…Heck! The girl shouldn't have even got her drivers license in the first place! But turned out what took her to her grave was old age… The Stupid girl should of-cough… I mean…She should of lived a much much longer life…It's a shame she had to die at the age of 95…death could of saved her sooo much torture… Anyways…here's what her gravestone says……for those who care…_

_**Lana Lang**_

… _**- …SHE LIVED A LONG TIME!!!**_

_**R.I.P.**_

…_Well…I couldn't remember half of it! SO WHAT!_

_Article by, Anonymous._

* * *

**Sorry it was so short…anyways the upcoming chapters will be a little different than this one. PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!**

**- Emberseve**


	2. The Reason Why It's called a toothpick

**50 Ways To Exterminate Lana Lang**

**Chapter 2: The Reason Why It's called a toothpick**

It was dinnertime and while on their way to Clark's house, Lana and Chloe decided to stop by a diner that was supposed to have really good cheeseburgers.

"You know…I've all ways wanted to try this place but never had the time to." Said Lana.

"Really? It's excellent! I absolutely love the hot dogs!" replied Chloe.

"Really? Cause I've always been more of a Hamburger person." Said Lana.

"Oh! They're good too! I just prefer the hot dogs." Chloe said while waiting for the waiter to come over.

"Hi, what can I get you ladies?" Asked the waiter, whose nametag said Drake.

"I'll have a hot dog with fries and a Ice Tea." Said Chloe.

"Ok, and for you miss." Said Drake, after writing down Chloe's order.

"A Cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke." Said Lana.

"Ok. Your order be will be right out."

_**-------------------------**_

_**10 minutes later…**_

_**-------------------------**_

"This is the best burger I've ever had!" said Lana, just finishing off the last part of the cheeseburger.

"Really? I might have to get that when I come back. Oh…uh, Lana?" said Chloe.

"Yeah?"

"You have a piece of food right here." Chloe said pointing towards her front teeth, while Lana got the toothpick that came with the cheeseburger and tried getting the piece of food.

_**----------------------**_

_**5 minutes later**_

_**----------------------**_

Lana finally got the piece of food out and was now unconsciously playing with the toothpick in her mouth. And all of a sudden she felt like she couldn't breath and felt a pointy substance in her throat. Once she started gasping for air and holding her throat is when Chloe noticed that something was wrong with her.

"Lana!?!" Chloe said as she ran over to the other side of the table. Once Chloe reached the other side is when she noticed that Lana wasn't breathing any more and that she was unconscious. "Lana, don't do this to me." "Hey! Waiter call an ambulance!" "Now what are your choking- Whoa! This can't be good…" Chloe said as she opened Lana's mouth just in time to see her throat filling with blood. After seeing that Chloe immediately checked Lana's pulse…only to find none. "Crap!"

_**----------------------------------------------------------**_

_**5 days later…on the 'Amateur' Daily Planet…**_

_**----------------------------------------------------------**_

**THE 'AMATEUR' DAILY PLANET**

…_was Lana Lang's funeral…and sadly Mr. Lex Luther had a fit and ordered for the whole Diner to be demolished…and poor Drake lost his job…all because of a toothpick and Ms. Lana Lang not knowing how to handle a toothpick!!!!! NO REALLY A TOOTHPICK!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT!!!!! THAT DRAKE DUDE WAS MY BOYFRIEND!!!!! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME LEX LUTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Article by, Anonymous._

* * *

**Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Oh! And thank you very much for the reviews!**

**- Emberseve**


End file.
